


All That's Left

by allstoriesintheend



Series: In The Golden Afternoon [7]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV), Once Upon a Time in Wonderland (TV)
Genre: Alice is Grace's mother, Gen, Pre-Curse, Wonderland
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-04
Updated: 2015-01-04
Packaged: 2018-03-05 10:13:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3116300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allstoriesintheend/pseuds/allstoriesintheend
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Alice is here.” Hatter whispered. “She’s here, Rabbit. She’s running through the long grass in the meadows. She’s hiding behind the trees. Her laugh is in the wind. She’s in the walls of the Cottage, sitting at the table, drinking tea.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	All That's Left

It started with the feel of a hand brushing through his hair.  
  
The Hatter’s head shot up as he felt the fingertips running through his dark locks, causing the needle to sink into his fingertip and draw blood. Of course, a pinpricked finger wasn’t uncommon to the Hatter. What was uncommon was the gentle humming that followed the stroke of his hair. His head snapped up the instant the humming started, but he was met with the sight of an empty room.  
  
Nothing.  
  
He was alone.  
  
But that voice… That touch… He knew them. He would know them even if he were blind. There was only one hand that could be so gentle and so loving with simply the way her fingers carded through his hair, and there was only one voice that would dare to hum about painting roses red.  
  
“Alice?”  
  
His voice was barely a whisper to the walls, until an almost childlike giggle came back to him. The items from his hands fell to the floor, and his fingers started to twitch at the sound that made his heart race.  
  
**_“Who else, Hatter?”_**  

“What are you…” The Hatter couldn’t find the words to help him with his jumbled thoughts. Instead, he looked around again, hoping to catch a glimpse of the sunshine coloured locks and the curious blue eyes of the girl that had fallen down the rabbit hole and captured him so completely.  
  
**_“Am I late for tea? Did you have it without me?”_**  
  
“I’d never have tea without you.” A reflex answer. No. The best tea parties happened when Alice was present. They always had done. Another giggle brought out the first hints of a smile that the Hatter’s face had seen in a long time, just as he made to clear away his fabrics and needles to set up a tea party for Alice.  
  
**_“Then what are you waiting for?”  
  
_**

* * *

  
  
Weeks passed. It was rare that the Hatter left the cottage nowadays, with another excuse as to why he couldn’t visit the White Rabbit and his wife, and why he couldn’t spend the days reciting riddles and rhymes with the Tweedles. He even refused Tea Parties with March and Mally, with a reason that was never the same as it was when he started to tell them it. No, Hatter holed himself inside, and all it did was bring worry to those few in Wonderland that cared.  
  
“It’s been months, Rabbit.” Mrs. Rabbit tapped her foot on the floor, watching her husband look around for his pocket watch through the doorway to the next room. “He’s forgotten what the sun looks like.”  
  
“He doesn’t have one anymore.”  
  
Mrs. Rabbit stilled, turning to face the one window that let the sun pour into the kitchen. All the light, all the happiness it brought… And Hatter had none. It worried her to think that one of the most loved inhabitants of their world was shutting the world out, dealing with nothing but his own thoughts.  
  
“He’s going to drive himself mad.”  
  
“He already has…” Rabbit sighed, hopping into the kitchen to be with her, now tucking his beloved pocketwatch into his pocket. “Bill said he heard Hatter talking to her again. That’s every day for the past four weeks. He thinks she’s still there with him.”  
  
“Poor Hatter…”  
  
None of them had quite believed it when it happened. Alice, their little Alice, the girl who chased after Rabbit and found a world that she could believe was her own, had been captured by the Queen. In her younger years, it had all been fun and games, but now that Her Majesty, The Queen Of Hearts, ruled Wonderland, things were different. Of course, it had all been a game to Alice and Hatter. Wherever she went, he followed as her loyal companion and best friend. The two had broken into the Royal Gardens and painted the roses red. They had hidden from the Cards in the very grounds of the Castle, and they had set free the Queen’s Croquet Flamingoes before they had ran into Tulgey Wood, laughing like the children they had been when they met.  
  
Rabbit remembered the two of them as children well – how he would always find them sitting at Tea Parties with the March Hare and Mallymkun or chasing the Mome Raths around, letting their laughter be the only thing communicated between them. He had watched, as most in Wonderland had, as friendship grew into love for Alice and her Hatter.  There was never one without the other, not for many years, until almost four months to the day when their playtime came crashing down.  
  
Alice had been caught by the Cards and taken to the Queen.  
  
Hatter didn’t get to her fast enough.  
  
“You have to talk to him, Rabbit. He’s forgotten already. He can’t be lost too.”  
  
Rabbit’s nose twitched, and his ears drooped. “He can’t lose her.”  
  
“He already has.” Mrs. Rabbit sighed, her gaze turning bleak. “He just won’t let go.”  


* * *

  
  
“You’re being very rude, you know. I’ll never get anything done if you keep chattering away.” Hatter chided as he tried to concentrate, running his hands over the fabric to smooth it before he started to sew. He heard Alice huff, to which he had to roll his eyes.  
  
**_“You’re being boring.”_**  
  
“Because I’m making you a gift?” A grin crept onto his face, followed by a slight chuckle. “Don’t pout at me.”  
  
**_“You’re not even looking at me.”_**  
  
“I don’t have to. I can hear that pout even if you were in the next room.” Hatter looked up, wiggling his eyebrows at her. “I know you inside out, Alice. I don’t have to be looking at you to know what you’re doing or where your curious gaze has landed.”  
  
**_“You think you’re so clever.”_**  
  
“I don’t think. I know.”  
  
A knock at the door drew both of their attentions. Alice jumped up from her seat on the tabletop, much like Hatter left what he was doing on top of the chair he had been previously sat on. Alice danced around him, making him laugh as he tried to quieten her. However, when he opened the door she fell silent as she always did when company arrived, and Hatter found himself looking down at the White Rabbit.  
  
“Can I come in?”  
  
“No,” Hatter told him. “I don’t want visitors. I’m busy.”  
  
“Busy doing what?” Rabbit’s nose twitched, looking up at the Hatter. When was the last time Hatter’s face had seen true light? He had never seen the Hatter look so empty of life. Under his eyes were darkened circles, and his clothes seemed to hang loosely from his tall frame.  
  
“Sewing. I’m making a gift for Alice.”  
  
“Hatter…” Rabbit sighed, hopping a little closer. He knew that telling him directly wouldn’t work, so he tried a different approach. “Why don’t you come to see Mrs. Rabbit and pick some flowers for Alice? I know she especially likes the blue lillies.”  
  
“I don’t want to.”  
  
“Perhaps Mrs. Rabbit can make some of those biscuits that Alice likes to have with her tea. She hasn’t had them in a while, has she?”  
  
Hatter made to speak, but Rabbit watched as his attention went to his side, looking down with an almost frown. His mouth seemed to move, although no sound came out – and Rabbit would have caught it. His ears weren’t so big for nothing, you know. Then, when Rabbit was ready to turn away and come back tomorrow, Hatter looked back at him.  
  
“Only if she makes them with extra chocolate. Alice likes them with extra chocolate.”  
  
“We’ll remind Mrs. Rabbit when we get there.” But as Hatter came to step out of the house, Rabbit stopped him. Hatter looked down, confused, until Rabbit gestured to his clothes.  
  
“Perhaps you should get changed first. You look as though you’ve slept in those.”  
  
“I don’t think I did…” Hatter tugged at his shirt, but nonetheless, he nodded. “You can come – _wait_ here.”  
  
The door shut in Rabbit’s face, and the sigh of relief that had been waiting to come escaped him. Not only did Hatter agree to get changed – Rabbit was sure he had been wearing those clothes for at least two weeks – but Hatter was finally going to come out of the cottage.  


* * *

  
Alice was clapping her hands as Hatter bustled past her, looking for clean clothes in the pile of fabrics and half-finished items. She had taken up her perch on the table again, pointedly looking away while he got changed. It was rude after all to be staring while he did so.  
  
**_“Oh! Will you bring back some of Mrs. Rabbit’s sandwiches as well? It’s been so long since we’ve had tea and sandwiches, Hatter.”  
  
_** Replying with the promise that he would, Hatter slipped out of the clothes he had been wearing - for how long, he wasn’t quite sure, perhaps a day or two at the most – and into what he assumed were clean ones. He noticed no change as he put on the clothes that were now hanging on him, not even registering that he had to move along five holes in his belt before it held his pants up comfortably.  
  
“We’ll have tea and sandwiches the moment I come back, and we’ll eat the biscuits for supper tonight.”  
  
**_“That sounds perfect.”_** Alice’s voice was a contented sigh, making a smile creep on Hatter’s face as he dusted off his hat. Goodness, it was starting to look shabby. He needed to take better care of it.  
  
“I won’t be gone long, love.” He tilted the brim of his hat to her, wrapping his other hand around the door handle.  
  
**_“Don’t be late for tea!”_**  
  
That drew out a chuckle as he turned to face Rabbit, only for it to silence completely when he looked down the pathway from the cottage. Had Wonderland always been so bright outside? It made him wince as he took the first few tentative steps outside, followed by him wanting to turn on his heel and lock himself back inside, telling Alice that he could make whatever she wanted instead. However, Rabbit was hopping behind him, urging him forward. The warm wind brushed through his hair, and he found himself at the bottom of the path before he knew it. What he didn’t notice though, was that the moment he stepped outside of the door, the flowers leading up to the Cottage had gone from sulking to starting to brighten up.  
  
Hatter was out of his cottage.  
  
It was progress. 

* * *

 

Rabbit wasn’t sure how, but he had managed to get Hatter all the way back to his own home across the Woods and through the Meadows that had once been Hatter’s favourite place to be. He saw Mrs. Rabbit looking out of the kitchen window as Rabbit led Hatter up the path, and then she was suddenly at the door, greeting the man almost too happily.  
  
“Hatter! How nice to see you – ”  
  
“Rabbit said you were making biscuits for Alice.”  
  
The bluntness of Hatter’s voice stopped her. With a quick glance to her husband, who was frantically nodding his head just behind Hatter, she smiled back up at him.  
  
“Of course. Would you like to help?”  
  
“No. I’m going to pick flowers for Alice. Rabbit said I could pick the blue lillies around the side of the house.”  
  
“Before you start, perhaps you should come inside for tea.” Rabbit tugged on his sleeve, gaining his attention. Hatter’s dark eyebrows knitted together, and he pursed his lips.  
  
“… Can I make it?”  


* * *

  
Hatter was settled, comfortable, and sipping his tea when the loud wailing pierced their ears. It made him jump, but not one drop of tea spilt from his cup as he glanced incredulously to the shut door that seemed to be where the source of the noise was hiding. Rabbit and his wife tensed, watching as Hatter turned back to them with an arched brow.  
  
“What in Wonderland is that?”  
  
Rabbit glanced at his wife, who gave a ghost of a nod as she put her cup down. She shuffled toward the end of her chair, taking a gentle voice as she spoke to the man at their table.  
  
“The baby, Hatter. The baby’s crying.”  
  
“You two have a baby? And here Alice and I were, thinking that you two had had enough children.”  
  
“She’s not our baby.”  
  
“Then whose baby is she?” But, like his Alice, curiosity got the better of him, and he found himself standing at the door, listening to the wailing on the other side. Neither stopped him as he turned the knob, and when his tired eyes found the source of the wailing, he was mesmerised.  
  
Then he was slamming the door shut as he left the room, earning a whole new round of cries from the child in the bassinet. Paling, Hatter started to pant as his hands flew up to cover his ears, sinking to the floor of the kitchen. Mrs. Rabbit hurried to the baby, while Rabbit was in front of Hatter, watching him carefully.  
  
“No. No, no, no, no, _no!_ ” Hatter’s hands hit the sides of his head, trying to quiet all the screaming inside. “Too loud! Stop it! _Stop!_ ”  
  
“Hatter, calm down, it’s alright – ”  
  
“ _NO IT’S NOT!”_  
  
Rabbit jumped back as Hatter shouted, pointing at the room where the baby – _his_ baby – was wailing. His baby... Alice’s baby. Their daughter. Their Grace. How could he forget about their daughter? How could Alice forget about their daughter? Everything came rushing back to him, and he wasn’t ready for it to. Oh, how his head hurt. He could hear her now, Alice, screaming as she brought their daughter into the world. He could hear them deciding on her name. He could hear Grace’s little giggle as the Mome Raths crawled around her in the gardens. Their Grace…  
  
“She – she – why is –”  
  
He couldn’t breathe. Tears started to fall as he cast his gaze back to where he knew Mrs. Rabbit was trying to quieten his daughter. Betrayal began to creep in as he looked up at Rabbit, with only one question now on his lips.  
  
“Why did you take her from me?”  
  
His voice was far beyond broken as he waited for an answer. Rabbit’s eyes softened as he looked at the man, the image of him displaying the breaks that his voice could not. Tears rolled down the Hatter’s face as he curled his arms around his legs, looking like a terrified child.  
  
“You left her here, Hatter…” Rabbit crouched down in front of him, whispering. “You told us you couldn’t have her anymore.”  
  
“Why would I do that?” Hatter’s gaze tore from Rabbit’s, looking down at the floor as he tried to think of a reason. “Why would I do that?”  
  
“You said she was too much like Alice for you to keep her. You didn’t want to be reminded.”  
  
“But she’s mine…”  
  
There was naught but Hatter’s sniffles and rustling of his fingers against fabric as he tried to remember why. Their daughter… How long had she been here?  
  
“Alice forgot about her too… She doesn’t know she’s here…”  
  
“Hatter… Alice isn’t here anymore. You remember, don’t you?”  
  
“No, _no_. Alice is at home. Alice is waiting for me to come home.” Hatter’s voice grew stronger as he thought about the blonde waiting for him back at the cottage, and shakily made to stand. His tears were wiped with his ascot, while twitching fingers reached to pick up his hat.  
  
“Alice is dead, Hatter. Gone. The Queen killed her.”  


* * *

  
His heartbeat pounded in his ears as he hurried along the paved pathway to the Queen’s Castle. Where was it that Alice always snuck through when she wanted to play a game with the Queen’s things? Ah, there it was! His hands wrapped around the loose bars, trying to wiggle them free.  
**_  
“Hatter!”  
  
_** Alice’s scream made him peer through the bars. She was already on the podium, with her hands tied behind her back… No. _No._ He tried harder to wiggle the bars free, twisting and turning them, but they wouldn’t move. The Cards had already seen to it. Tears flowed freely down her reddened face as she was forced to stand still, the Cards now holding the ropes that bound her hands from different sides.  
  
The Queen’s laughter echoed through the Courtyard.  
  
“Off with her head!”  
  
The Axe was lifted high.  
  
**_“Hatter!”_**  
  
Alice’s eyes found him.  
  
“No! Alice! Alice – NO!”  
  
Hatter’s hands gripped the bars.  
  
Alice’s crying stopped.  
  
Two dull thuds were the only sounds that followed.  


* * *

  
“Alice… My…”  
  
He had lost his voice again. Hatter slumped against the kitchen top, shaking his head. His Alice… But he was only talking to her that morning. No – no. That wasn’t Alice. That was only a memory of her. He hadn’t even gotten to bury his Alice. The Moat that the Queen had her dumped in claimed her.  
  
“Hatter… Grace needs you. She needs her father. Rabbit and I can’t raise her.” Mrs. Rabbit’s voice was a gentle comfort to him, but her words were not. He didn’t look at her, but it wasn’t out of not wanting to.  
  
“I don’t know how.”  
  
“You’ll learn. Grace will help you.” Mrs. Rabbit whispered to him, hopping closer as Grace started to make soft squeaks. “Do you want to hold her?”  
  
His head screamed no, but the moment he turned, he couldn’t help looking down at the bundle. How much like her mother she already was… Her blonde wisps had started to curl, just like Alice’s had been when she was younger, but it was the big, curious brown eyes of his daughter that made a lump form in his throat. Mrs. Rabbit carefully handed her to him, telling him to mind her head. Her voice became nothing more than a dull buzz as Hatter cradled his daughter, listening to her quiet noises.  
  
“I’m so sorry, baby girl… I’m so sorry…” He pressed his lips to her head, feeling a couple of stray tears escape him. “Papa didn’t mean to leave you…”  
  
He didn’t know how long he stayed like that, holding Grace close to him and whispering to her, but it was long enough for her eyelids to start drooping and for her to fall into a slumber, with one of her little hands curled into his ascot. Hatter still rocked her back and forth gently, and as the Rabbits came back to the kitchen, there was just a hint of hope in his eyes.  
  
“Can I take her home?”  
  
Mrs. Rabbit nodded gently, gesturing to the room that Grace had been sleeping in. Hatter’s face lit up, and for the first time inside their house, Hatter started to smile. He could take her with him?  
  
“I’ll get her things for you.”  
  
As she excused herself, Rabbit hopped over to Hatter, looking at him with the stern look that he had seen so many times as a child. He gulped like he had done when Rabbit had scolded him for breaking a window with a teacup, shrinking in on himself.  
  
“You have to take care of her, Hatter. She needs you to be there for her. You can’t… Spend your days talking to somebody who isn’t there while your daughter cries for attention. You can’t forget about Grace again. Mrs. Rabbit and I… We can’t keep her. Promise that you’re going to look after her before you leave this house. You have to forget about… Who you think is in the Cottage. Grace is here now. Grace needs you. Do you understand?”  
  
Forget about his Alice? How could Hatter possibly be expected to do that? All of his life, everything had started with Alice. Every day since they had met, it had always been the two of them. Alice and her Hatter. Hatter and his Alice. His expression turned into one of hurt and confusion, until a quiet sound came from the sleeping bundle in his arms.  
  
“Hatter. Alice is gone. Grace is here. You need to be here for Grace as well. Alice would have wanted you to be.”  
  
“Alice is here.” Hatter whispered, his eyes never leaving his daughter. “She’s here, Rabbit. She’s running through the long grass in the meadows. She’s hiding behind the trees. Her laugh is in the wind. She’s in the walls of the Cottage, sitting at the table, drinking tea.”  
  
It pained Rabbit to watch the Hatter come close to breaking again. His face was covered with dry tears, and if he continued to live the way he was, Rabbit doubted that he would be living much longer. So, with a sigh, Rabbit picked up the almost tatty hat from the kitchen top, looking inside.  
  
“Then you can’t stay here.”  
  
That made Hatter look at him. He focused on the hat, then on Rabbit. Was he really suggesting…? But Hatter hadn’t done that in years. Not since he arrived here. He doubted he remembered how to do it at all, if truth be told.  
  
“I can’t leave Alice.”  
  
“You can’t stay and be with Alice. It’s killing you, Hatter. Poison in your head. Take Grace and leave Wonderland, before she ends up without any parents at all.”    
  
“But Alice – ”  
  
“Is gone. Grace is your priority now.”  
  
Whatever words Hatter would have replied with fell short as Mrs. Rabbit came back into the kitchen with a small satchel. He took it wordlessly, then looked at Rabbit. There was nothing more that needed to be said on the matter, except a simple;  
  
“Thank-you.”  


* * *

  
  
Hatter didn’t take the Mimsy Meadows on the way from the Rabbit’s house. He didn’t go through the Tulgey Wood. In fact, Hatter was going in the opposite direction from the cottage. The flowers whispered among themselves as he passed through their Garden, and the Tweedles came to see where he was wandering with the sky so dark and the stars beginning to shine. Hatter paid no mind to anyone, save for the little girl in his arms. That was until he heard footsteps following him, and knew the owner before he turned.  
  
**_“You said you wouldn’t be late for tea.”_**  
  
He willed himself not to answer her, not to indulge in Alice’s question, but then again, he had never been able to refuse her attention.  
  
“I’m not coming home for tea.”  
  
**_“Then where are you going, Hatter?”_**  
  
Now that, he couldn’t answer. Instead, he continued up the cobbled pathway, nearing the Mushrooms. He couldn’t answer her now, because if she begged him to stay, then he would crack. He would lose their daughter, but he would have Alice again. How cruel it was to only be able to have one of them. The other would be abandoned by him, and now, he was choosing their daughter over his Alice. The lump had formed in his throat before the Looking Glass even came into view, and then Alice seemed to catch up with exactly what he was doing.  
  
**_“You said you wouldn’t leave!”_**  
  
Hatter found himself void of words. He kept pushing forward, refusing to look at Alice. If he looked at her, then he would have to see the hurt in her expression, and that was something he could never bear to look at again. Once was enough. They passed the Mushroom that Absolem so often sat on, but the Caterpillar was nowhere to be seen. The only things around were themselves, the darkness that was casting shadows along the path, and the moonlight that was reflecting from the Looking Glass. He was standing in front of it now, seeing only the reflection of himself and Grace in his arms.  
  
**_“You promised!”_**  
  
“You’re not here, Alice.”  
  
**_“I’m right behind you, Hatter –”  
_**  
“No,” Hatter’s voice was thick, but he had to say it. Then he could leave. “You’re not here. You’re dead. The Queen had you beheaded.”  
  
**_“Why would you say that?”_**  
  
Alice suddenly sounded very small, and it took all of his willpower to not turn around and comfort her. She sounded just as hurt as he had been when he remembered, and in his mind’s eye, he could see her touching her neck as if to find where her body had been separated from her head.  
  
“You’re not real.”  
  
He breathed in deeply, taking another step toward the Glass. One foot was halfway through it by now.  
  
**_“Hatter –”  
  
_** Alice was crying. He could hear it in the way she said his name, but he still refused to turn.  
  
“You’re not real.”  
  
**_“Hatter!”_**  


* * *

  
  
“You’re not _real!_ ”  
  
His voice echoed around the room, hitting the walls and doors before it found its way back to him. The cold air was a welcome change from the heated night of Wonderland. Alice’s voice was still in his mind, but that’s the only place that it was. In his arms Grace snuggled closer into him, making a soft sound in her sleep.  
  
They were out.  
  
Out of their home.  
  
Out of Wonderland.  
  
It was only then that Hatter had the courage to turn around, seeing the same reflection as he had before.  
  
Himself, and his sleeping daughter.    
  
There was no Alice.  
  
Not anymore.  



End file.
